The Best Satire

As an infinitely powerful being, there isn't much that can bother me. Even stupidity has a hard time finding my nerves, let alone getting on them. However, a certain individual seems to look upon himself as something close to a God. No, I don't mean myself. I am far too superior to be seen as something as small as that, nor do I press my opinion of myself onto the public as often as this person. He refers to himself as Maddox.

Maddox... The name alone makes you think of Mad Cow Disease. In nearly every article he writes, he discriminates against the rest of the world as if the rest of the world shares his views on the rest of the world. Don't believe me? Look up his website and see for yourself. What's worse is with all the hate mail he gets he is still too blind to see that the world is not on his side and continues to believe that he is right about everything.

Another thing that puzzles me is how he copyrights every drawing he makes, as if anyone would want to steal his crappy art work? I got news for him, he's not a great artist. He's not important enough to steal from. If anyone did steal his art, he would probably feel really good about that, ignoring the fact that someone would have to be mentally ill to think that it's any good.

To his credit, though, he does make some good points here and there and he is a remotely amusing read. Most of the people who give him hate mail seem to forget that he has the right to say whatever he wants. However, he claims that the very thing he does is stupid when others are doing it. Sorry, but all those people who talk about their feelings online? Remember how you say the rest of the world doesn't care? Eat it.

Why don't I give him hate mail about that? If he wants my criticism, he can go searching for it like a dog. Unlike him, I don't need the satisfaction of his arrogant reply. But if he does find this entry and feels the need to reply, I should say this...

By sending me hate mail, you acknowledge that I own all rights to the entire contents of your message, any images sent with the message, your email address, your house, your car, your first born and your soul. Furthermore, you agree to make your email address publicly available on this or any other web site, and you accept my views and opinions as being right regardless of anything. Furthermore, you agree that it is okay for me or anyone else to slander and/or libel you on this or any other web site, in public, at your place of employment, or anywhere else in this or any other universe and/or dimension. Know that sending me hate mail is a request for character defamation, endless belittling and excessive mockery. You may not sue me for any reason, ever, and this disclaimer is subject to change without notice, and you are still subject to the rules regardless of any changes made. If you do not agree with these rules, then don't send me hate mail.

Payback sucks, doesn't it?

The Best Page in the Universe, or so it is named, is the most self-centered, mind numbing, pretentious thing he could have done, considering that his feeble existence could be snuffed out in a nanosecond by just about anything. To put it simply, "The Best Page in the Universe" is anything but. It is a pathetic attempt for Maddox to make himself feel important in his own mind by telling off others and calling himself right regardless of the world's views on him. This kind of personality is referred to as foolish and unwise, but never-mind that, he is awesome! Let's face it, he is simply a mundane man with a mundane life and his opinion about anything only has value to the small handful of people he calls his friends, which he would drop in a second if any of them were anything above mindless lackeys.

In closing, I would like to inform you that everything I have said is satire. Just in case you didn't notice the title of this article. I know that Maddox's site is satire as well. I don't really have a bone to pick with him or his expressed views, so don't take the above too seriously.

I'm the OmniEpic Wizard. I write it, so bite me.